The Jealousy Cure: Learn to Trust, Overcome Possessiveness, and Save Your Relationship
Publication Date: 03/01/2018
Format: Paperback, Kindle, audio
Publsher: New Harbinger
Description: In this book Robert L. Leahy provides the reader with an understanding of why jealousy is a universal emotion that we find in all cultures, among children,and even among animals. Reviewing evolutionary theory, attachment theory and CBT models, the author provides readers of an understanding of how the mind gets hijacked and the individual gets overwhelmed with emotions. The reader is then introduced to a step-by-step description of how one can use emotion regulation techniques, cognitive restructuring, problem solving, acceptance and mindfulness to keep jealousy from undermining relationships. In the case in which jealousy has justification, the author offers descriptions of how to discuss jealousy without attacking each other, develop guidelines for building trust, and--if necessary-- assess the validity of changing the relationship.
Book Review: Readers will learn why jealousy is universal, how evolutionary theory and attachment theory help us understand jealousy, and how jealousy affects the way we think, feel and act. Reviewing unhelpful strategies--such as interrogating, threatening, hedging, and stalking-- the reader learns that jealousy is an emotion that often is the flip-side of commitment and attachment. Readers are encouraged to accept that jealousy may be an inevitable part of deep, meandingful relationships by making room for jealousy and by recognizing that one can have a strong feeling without engaging in self-destructive action. A wide range of techniques and conceptualizations are provided including self-validation, learning how to express jealousy in non-destructive ways, identifying and modifying thought patters, examining and changing rigid rules for relationships, developing mindful detachment and acceptance of emotions that may come and go in intensity, and building greater trust through mutual negotiation, empathy and understanding. Drawing on cognitive therapy, ACT, DBT, mindfulness, compassion focused therapy, attachment theory and other empirically validated treatment, the reader can acquire understanding and tools to keep jealousy from overwhelming them.